Me this very morning
As soon as it was time to take the middle school girl down to the bus stop
The shoes I ‘always’ leave by the front door for convenience
The slip on in a hurry shoes that never fail me
Were not where they should be
Not where I expected them to be
So with the clock ever ticking toward the bus arrival time I hollered for help
‘Who wore my shoes?’
‘They are NOWHERE’
‘Rea! Monica! Camryn!’
‘Which one of you girls wore my shoes?’
‘Wasn’t me’ (X3)
‘Well they don’t just disappear!’
I continue my frantic scrounging, searching, digging in shoe drawers and cubbies
Venting out loud
‘This is NOT FAIR’
‘Moms should not have to search for their shoes’
‘Are you girls SURE you never borrowed them?’
‘Mom NO’
‘The last time I wore them I put them back’
I know I could have gone barefoot, or wore any other of the 85 pairs of shoes in the house
And if it came down to missing the bus I would have
But as it got down to the wire and the bus roared through it’s route, closer all the time
I continued the hunt
Noticed my robe on the bedroom floor right below the hook and picked it up absently
To uncover the beloved missing slip ons had been hiding underneath it
I slipped them on and headed down the stairs
‘it’s okay girls, you can all CALM DOWN, I found my shoes’
I got a nonchalant glance from above a toasted bagel, a pause in the middle of putting ham on a sandwich, a brush stilled in a hand… and someone asked the dreaded
‘Where were they?’
As I marched out the door behind the middle school girl I mumbled
‘Not that it’s any of your business but they might have been in my room under my robe on the floor’
And was sent away with a snort and some Ha Ha’s
When I actually do lose all my marbles they are not even going to realize.